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June 2008
The DIY Bride
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| Hannah Moulton and Eric Belec creatively announce their engagement. |
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| Hannah and Eric included a three-mile bike trip to the reception. |
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| Liam and Tara Echlin (above) opted for a traditional Sword and brownies wedding theme. |
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| Marie Hamby and Heidi Rosenbreaugh used the Internet to help them work out the details of their big day. |
It’s that time of year. Time for Brides and Grooms-to-be, all over the country, to look deeply into each others’ eyes, clasp hands and jump off the Wedding Merry-Go-Round.
Run, little love-birds, run! Before someone convinces you that “everyone” loves the Chicken Dance. Run! Before the DJ cues the song “The Stripper” and makes the Groom grope around for a pointless garter belt, right in front of Grandma. Run! Before the Bride starts whispering the name “Vera Wang” in her sleep.
In a day when brides sue florists because the centerpieces do not match, the Alternative Wedding is long overdue. Small and meaningful weddings are, of course, nothing new, but today’s DIY Brides and Grooms have far more options and many more reasons to go their own route. Never before has it been so easy to combine a couple’s passions for each other with their passions for the environment or gender equality or or Star Wars. For example.
Recent books, such as One Perfect Day; The Selling of the American Wedding by Rebecca Mead, or The Off Beat Bride by Ariel Meadow Stallings, provide the whys and wherefores of Alternative Weddings.
Stalling’s motto “Altar Your Thinking,” applies to couples on tight budgets or those who just want to make a statement. You say you can’t afford to drop several thousand dollars on flowers? Is your conscience troubled by the pesticide use in the cut-flower industry? Well, then, Stallings suggests, forgo flowers. Carry peacock feathers (naturally shed, of course), Christmas ornaments, or sparklers down the aisle. Not interested in dropping three months salary on a diamond engagement ring? Appalled by the controversy over “blood diamonds” (diamonds sold by rogue regimes to subsidize wars or mined in unethical manners)? Then don’t buy one. Couples can still say “Forever” with unique and budget-friendly rings made of recycled gold, titanium, even wood.
The Off Beat Bride website (www.offbeatbride.com) also showcases the whimsical and the weird. I particularly like the Bride in a purple velvet corset and the Groomsmen in Converse Allstars. You’ll also find advice you won’t find in Emily Post, like “Up-do’s for Dread-Locks.”
The Off Beat Bride website has been a resource for many local couples. The Adelphi Mill wedding of Silver Spring residents, Liam and Tara Echlin, is immortalized on the website for its inventive pageantry, which included a sword, a “veil of illusion,” and a bowl of homemade brownies.
Not exactly the kind of details you find in a Wedding Planner’s portfolio, but the Echlins knew they wanted something different. Initially, after her engagement, Tara subscribed to the usual wedding magazines, only to find them so anxiety-inducing that she needed to toss them, unopened, in the trash. After a “vaguely terrifying” experience at a Bridal Expo, where Wedding Professionals circled them like sharks, Liam said they knew they had to do it on their own. Luckily, creative friends and family stepped up to the plate. Tara’s seamstress mother created the Celtic-inspired wedding dress. Florist and Pastry Chef friends put their talents to use. Other friends were invited to “assembly parties” to put together centerpieces and altar decorations.
If you find yourself in College Park later this month, keep an eye out for the biking wedding party of Takoma Park residents Hannah Moulton and Eric Belec. The wedding party and guests will bike from the Chapel at the University of Maryland to the reception at the Cherry Hill Park. It’s a three mile trip that Moulton believes her active Grandmother can easily do. Her Grandmother, however, has made it clear she won’t be dressed for such shenanigans and plans to meet them there. But most guests will join the biking caravan. Perhaps with tin cans and streamers in tow.
Moulton and Belec’s search for something different began after consultations with wedding vendors. “They all said, ‘we’ll work with you,’” but Moulton was quickly disappointed to learn that most weren’t as flexible as promised and almost none fit their limited budget. “We wanted the wedding to be simple and small, and we’ve really had to think every step of the way: ‘Are we doing X thing just because it’s expected? Does it really resonate for us?’” In that vein, they Photoshopped their own invites. They are buying flowers from a local farm. Food and spirits will come from local restaurants and breweries. They are registered with their favorite charities. The DJ will be their ipod.
Abandoning the conventions of a traditional wedding can be liberating. You won’t hear too many bridesmaids crying over the trend to jettison the tradition of matching dresses. “The only thing that will match,” Takoma Park Fashion Maven, Jody Dickerson, says of her upcoming nuptials, “is the tattoos.” Her bridal party will get temporary, air-brushed leopard skin tattoos to match the ones on her shoulders. Her “Maids of Dishonor” can wear anything they want so long as it’s vintage. Her “Men of Dishonor” get to pick out any kilt they want.
But ditching the traditional leaves couples with a lot of decisions to make. DC residents Marie Hamby and Heidi Rosenbreugh wrestled with all sorts of questions of protocol when planning their recent Union. How do you combine last names when you don’t want cumbersome hyphens? Who walks whom down the aisle in a same sex wedding?
Luckily the internet put them in touch with other lesbian couples, helped them find meaningful wedding vows and even a beautician who specialized in vintage hair. Hamby felt that “it was nice to get in touch with people” with similar interests and reassuring to “know I wasn’t insane for worrying about these things.”
“Too many things can go wrong,” Hamby said, when the focus is on the dress or the party or the cake. With a DIY wedding, she said, the focus is where it should be. “It’s about loving the person you’re with.”
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