Escape . . .

while you still can, Dear Reader!

Too late! The doors have banged shut, the bolts slammed home. The lights are extinguished. An ominous humming noise begins in the dark. Images flash on the screen – a PowerPoint presentation! Oh NO, it’s, . . . .

* * * *

the Takoma Park City Budget FY 2009!

No, the budget process hasn’t QUITE begun, this was just the preview of the city manager’s proposed budget. As she pointed out to the council, the budget process is one of its most vital functions. Your Gilbert agrees, but like certain other vital functions we each perform, usually in private, it is not one we like to dwell upon. We certainly don’t get very excited about it.

Still, there is a certain fascination as city manager Barbara Matthews outlined the important parts of the upcoming discussion. In fact, Your Gilbert’s gently closing eyelids abruptly widened in shock, because there in plain black and white (well, more like dark blue text on a light blue background) is the most appalling example of pointless waste and excess we have ever seen.

“Maintenance of City infrastructure and fleet.”

We’re paying for a FLEET? The city doesn’t even have a waterfront – unless you count its section of the Sligo Creek, which barely has room to float a rowboat.
No wonder city taxes are so high! Takoma Park has its own navy!

Hopefully, we’ll have more on this shocking development when the council begins a series of budget meetings on May 5th.

– Gilbert.

About the Author

Gilbert is the pseudonym of a hard-bitten, hard-drinking, long-time Takoma Park resident who maintains the granolapark blog. Gilbert and William L. Brown — Granola Park's mild-mannered chief of staff, researcher, and drink pourer — have never been seen in the same place at the same time.