Which Sidewalk Are You On?

Dear Readers,
The city’s email lists are flooded with a tsunami of exchanges about sidewalks. The earthquake that set it off was a letter accusing the city government of various things. The letter stirred up outrage, as letters do that don’t let facts stand in their way. But, we learned that in the recent Route 410 Fracas. Some of us learned that, anyway.
However, the other side replied with their own view of things, and there has been a steady stream of responses, responses to responses, and responses to responses to responses.
To keep you informed, here is a brilliant synopsis of the discussion, as written out by Mel Fosnaught, an email list member who has been following it:

– Gilbert
1) The city is attempting to sneak a boodoggle by the populace, and our politicians and appointed officials should be tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail.
2) Sidewalks are essential to save the lives of small children, and what kind of sicko are you to want all our kids to die?
3) A single additional linear foot of sidewalk, anywhere in the city, will kill all our trees and all the fish in our streams. Probably kill the birds, too, and may be especially toxic to any endangered species migrating through.

4) The City needs to retrofit every sidewalk in Takoma Park for ADA compliance. Also, they will need ramps to all structures, public and private, and all traffic signs will need to be in braille from now on. What, you don’t like people in wheelchairs or something?
5) The City plans to put sidewalks on every street, and all the way around every dead end, and along both sides of the bike path in Sligo Creek Park. If they have any cement left over, they will begin paving over Sligo Creek for a skateboard park. I am pretty sure this is all in the Council minutes from 1998.
6) Anyone who doesn’t want sidewalks is an idiot.
7) Am not.
8) Are, too. Also, I have data that proves that people who use sidewalks are generally better looking, and I have data that most people in Takoma Park have said they would like to be better looking. Do the math.
9) I take that comment on my looks personally.

About the Author

Gilbert is the pseudonym of a hard-bitten, hard-drinking, long-time Takoma Park resident who maintains the granolapark blog. Gilbert and William L. Brown — Granola Park's mild-mannered chief of staff, researcher, and drink pourer — have never been seen in the same place at the same time.

2 Comments on "Which Sidewalk Are You On?"

  1. I am on one of the Takoma Park email lists that have discussed this issue. The various view points expressed are nowhere as near extreme as the lampooning above.

  2. See what you missed not being on some of the other lists?

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